Saturday, November 22, 2008

King Colin Holds a Feast of Blogpower (Or a Round Up, if you like)



T'was Pentecost and King Colin did call a feast at Camelot.
He did summon far and wide for the Knights of Blogpower.

T'was a fine and verdant day of May when the Knights arrived.
'Forsooth' said King Colin 'Tis seven summers since such a throng of worthy knights did to Camelot repair! Great deeds indeed shall be recited in these halls as the embers burn low!'

And the knights and their ladies did dine, on mostarda and Christmas cake!

Once the company was feasted, King Colin did decry 'Tell me, my good knights, what deeds hast thou done that have made the realm of Blogres sing with the valour of the sword, what deeds hast thou done that shall make men accord us mickle worship!'

First rose Sir Mutley of Bridport. 'My liege, I have found the Holy Aura! Ten leagues east of the Kingdom of the radioactive Howler Monkeys it lies, beyond the forest of Complex Office Relationships.'

And there was much rejoicing.

Then arose Sir Cafegrendel of Aus. 'The Golden Bean, my liege, is within my grasp!'

Then with bloodied torso, entered Sir Tiberius of Westminster. 'The Gauls are defeated, he cried!'

'Let us toast to that with a bottle of Valpolicella!' cried the Queen of Western Plain.

'Wouldst I could' said Sir Kori of Brus. I must depart before midnight to return to the dark side of recycling.

'And I' cried Sir Tome Paine 'I must cleanse the House of Commons of vermin!'

Then the doors of the hall flung open and there entered on foot, his cloak torn, his staff raised, t'was the wild man of the O'Donnell.

'Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! The realm of Blogres will not find peace till ye solve ye the riddle! One nut or two?'

King Colin turned to Merlin Wardman and asked what the wildman meant. Merlin replied 'The nut signifies the BNP. One or two signifies, do we have a right to know? Was the leak inspired by God or the evil one?'

'The evil one' cried the Knight of the Thundrous Dragon 'Tis of naught who is Knight of the Party of the Britishnational!'

'I stand by him' said the Knight of the Philosophical Pub.

Sir Bob Piper laughed and cried 'Let them be judged as they do judge'.

Sir Cynical of the Morning Star shook his head. 'Half right, half right, he said'.

Sir Guthrum the Wise arose amidst the voices 'I have seen the Devil's whore!'

Confusion broke loose in the halls as the knights reached for the swords, the unity of the table broken.

Sir Tony of Tuscany, that darkest of Sorcerors, took the chance to turn his lady into a car.

Whilst the Knight of the Investment bank and Sir Jeremy Jacobs decided to depart and find that evil cad, Sir Jonathan Ross, despoiler of the good name of many a damosel.


Indeed it seemed the peace of the Kingdom was doomed to fail until...

Who is this riding across the drawbridge in his green livery and his Saxon helm?

Which brave knight is this and what puissant deeds does he have to tell?

Tis Sir Grendel!

And the return of the much loved warrior brought peace to the hall.

'Sir Grendel! Where hast though been these seven months!' cried King Colin.

'My liege, I have been making my own Worm Farm'

And all did nod with wisdom.

King Colin turned to those assembled. 'Let us reflect, my friends of the great wisdom we have learned'.

And there was great rejoicing.

11 comments:

jmb said...

Highly entertaining Crushed and informative, although somewhat challenging.

Colin Campbell said...

And that was the end of the improbable story.

Now get to work ploughing and scattering Jester Crushed.

mutleythedog said...

Verily verily, forsooth and all that old jazz...

;-))

UBERMOUTH said...

And in rode Ubermouth who proclaimed,'Don't worry B.P Admin! I shall find the most skilled proctologist in all the kingdom to extract Crushed's nose from your collective butts!!' But before she could set out on her good deed , she heard one allmighty wail,' Nooooooooooooooo, we like it there. It soothes our 'roids and staunches our anal leakage.'

'But he is required elsewhere' Uber retorted,' I had a most urgent call- the village misses it's idiot!'

Colin Campbell said...

Hey Ubermouth

Since James has been slamming Blogpower so much, we may need some new members. We even have admin roles available.

Your jolly sense of fun, theatre and sarcasm would be highly valued in such a dull group as ours.

How about it? We are only an email away.

UBERMOUTH said...

Colin,
I have no doubt that, that was a sincere offer, and as it will kill off several admin in one go....
I ACCEPT your offer... of an Admin role, of course.

Colin Campbell said...

Far be it for me to make decisions as serious as this. If you are serious and believe that you could meet the requirements of membership of Blogpower and have something to contribute to the goals of the organisation, then I believe that you should apply. The decision rests with the membership of Blogpower. We as admins only have the role of administering the goals of the members.

You are welcome to read the requirements in the sidebar.

I await, your humble servant, representative of Defenders of the Blog and their members, Blogpower, your response.

Hail Blogpower and all who sail in her.

UBERMOUTH said...

Rescinding a formal offer already made and accepted won't look too kosher,Colin.

mutleythedog said...

I think not....

UBERMOUTH said...

On what score ,Mutley?

Devonshire Dumpling said...

I left Blogpower a month ago - will you please NOT include me in any further round ups? I should not be on the Blogpower roll of members either. I'll say this, BP is easy to join but impossible to seemingly leave.